Britches, please.

ELEPANTS

When not just any pants will do.

Sir Lord Beckinridge of Shireton

Sir Lord Beckinridge politely refuses the advice of his Elders.

Sir Lord Beckinridge desires bread on his toast.

Sir Lord Beckinridge looks both ways before passing wind.

Sir Lord Beckinridge can wink both of his eyes simultaneously.

Sir Lord Beckinridge once stopped a charging rhinoceros with a single torpedo.

Sir Lord Beckinridge plays a mean bass guitar.

Sir Lord Beckinridge is ethnically inverse.

Sir Lord Beckinridge begins every sentence with another sentence.

Sir Lord Beckinridge can indeed write poetry but usually prefers to have his bowel movements transcribed by his squire Bradley Dimblescrote instead.

Sir Lord Beckinridge runs a large chemical factory in Sweden.

Sir Lord Beckinridge enjoys staring at a plate of cheese while riding in his derigible.

Sir Lord Beckinridge cannot cross over the Prime Meridian on the night of a full moon.

Sir Lord Beckinridge sometimes has difficulty spelling the word "bureaucracy," despite having invented the word himself.

Sir Lord Beckinridge has insisted upon the inclusion of a harpsichord voice option for every synthesizer and electronic piano made since 1974. Still waiting on that Nobel Peace Prize.

Sir Lord Beckinridge saved the Titanic before he didn't.

Sir Lord Beckinridge can for the life of him.